The past couple weeks the message I have been getting from others and myself is, how do we really show up for ourselves. I read a lot of nutrition, self-help and other motivational books. You would be hard pressed to find me reading a novel! I did this for myself for many years, mostly seeking answers to feeling better in my own skin, have more energy and live my life that way I saw it in my mind and not how I was living it. I still read those book, for my coaching business and because I am always a learner and a spiritual seeker. What I have found in myself and many people I work with is the attitude of yah, yah, I know that already. The thing is, we never try those suggestions, ideas or improvements in those books. We just read them and add to the list of what we read, never truly absorbing them or giving the advice in them a try. We never take the steps we need to take to make them a part of our life. Sometimes we don’t even give it a try, because we think we already have it down, but deep down we know we don’t. For me it’s a combination of not wanting to really show up for myself , some part of myself doesn’t want to try, maybe because I think I will fail, finding time to make the changes and some weird thing of being above having to do the steps it takes to get there, because I have told myself I already know this. Somewhere I got the idea that if I read it, I then know it, so by some mysterious osmosis, I “have this”, without taking the steps to integrate it into my life! But I really don’t “have this”. Why do you think there are so many diet, nutrition, self-help books out there. Because we keep searching for the easy answer, the silver bullet, the other person who will show us the way, so we don’t have to dig deep or do the work for us.
When things get tough and I get in this places where I don’t feel good enough, beat myself up for not doing the work or just get sloppy in my awareness. It’s easier to check out, react and go on autopilot and let life carry me along on its bumpy ride of turbulence. I find myself looking outside myself for answers, so, I read more books, listen to a bunch of free webinars, thinking they will motivate, inspire or give me the answers. Usually they just make me feel worse, because somewhere in their message is the idea, I am lacking something and only they can teach it, show it or do it for me. When what I really need to do is commit to myself. I have also found, we want to have the knowledge and can spout it off easily, but have never really take that knowledge to heart and apply it to ourselves.
In yoga they call it your practice. You work every day to find stillness and calmness of what you do on the mat and translate to off the mat. You show up and do your practice and keep doing it, allowing the subtle expansion to occur in your mind and body. It’s the same here. When I work with people on their food issues, it’s pretty simple things, drink more water, add more veggies or remove some items you may have issues with like wheat or dairy and look at other areas in your life that maybe causing a ripple effect in your nutrition, relationships, work and spiritual practice. It is basic stuff, but because we have the idea that we already know all that stuff, maybe even thought about applying it, but we never really take it to the integrations step. The current style of yoga I am studying is the Amrit Method and in that practice we do a posture, hold it, complete it and then stand or sit and notice how we feel after the posture. This part is called integration. Just like in life taking the time to integrate is key.
What are some ways to actually bring those idea’s and suggestion into your life
1. Nurture yourself with self-care: Wake up and start your day knowing you are going to kick-ass. Do this with affirmations, pre-paving as Abraham and Esther Hicks call it, meditating, yoga or simple stretches, take the dog for walk and watch the sun rise. Find a way to start you day off by being grateful. Be grateful you are here every day. Even if it’s, I woke up today or I have a warm house and food on the table, or the sun came up again! The pre-paving technique can be before bed, write out what was new and good about that day or what was unique with this day compared to others. Something that sets you in a positive mode for the next day, excited to have it happen. We normally go through all the crap that happened in our day and forget about all the other good things that happened. Because when we sleep we let go to resistance, by pre-paving we can determine to make our next day even better.
2. Give yourself 10 to 21 days before you say this isn’t working. With clients and checking out food issues, I have them give something up for 10 days, see how they feel and then reintroduce it. Many times they feel so good they don’t even want to bring it back in. It is this way with trying to bring in anything new, whether with changes in diet and lifestyle changes. Give it time to work, don’t let that negative self talk tell you it isn’t working.
3. Make a vision board and know your “why”. Put your hopes, dreams and desires somewhere where you can see them daily. Don’t keep them hidden. If you want to be thinner, put up a picture of your favorite jean style or running shoes, as a reminder of where you are headed. Your why is the deep reason why you are doing something. On a psychological and passion level, your “why” is what motivates you, continues forward movement and drives you to achieve your goals. Even if the goal is providing the basics for your family, to have a better life for your children, invest in your first property, expand your business, create a rich life, run a marathon, etc. The “WHY” is important. It’s what’s going to get you out of bed in the morning; it’s what will keep you going when the times get tough. Your “why” is a great motivator in anything you do, including following through on your diet, exercise, creating healthy habits or making any change in your life. Go back to your “why” many times. I have a couple of clients who’s why was that they wanted to be healthy and not have the same issues their parents had. Keep going back to that “why” to keep you on track and doing the steps it takes to get you there.
4. Be open to what comes up. Sometimes it’s the unexpected things in our practice that come up for us as feelings, emotions and just noticing a change. This can be where the potent things are hiding. If you are taking steps to eliminate, coffee from your diet. Notice when you crave it, how you like to drink it and what it does to your body. You may find in these nuggets the things that are holding you back from making the change you desire.
5. Breath, meditate, yoga and practice consciousness. Any other experience that will allow you to feel your body. We spend so much time in our heads that we forget there is a whole body attached to that head. Feel it, love it and nurture it! Just by simple grounding techniques like using your breath you can allow your mind a chance to relax and your body a chance to connect back to your head and make the circuit to your heart! This is where the magic happens. It doesn’t happen in the mind, the ego, it takes place when we connect the mind and body together and unify them in the heart. Then we can move forward as a whole human being!
If you need help taking all those books you have read and all the information you have received and actually putting them to work specifically for you, instead of saying yah, yah, I already know this, and moving on to the next thing that you think is the answer. Get with me, I can help you discover the road map to becoming the you, the one who is authentically you. Be the person you came here to be in whatever expression that is!